THINGS CHICKS SHOULDN'T DO

[pygmypiranha]

Alright, there are several things that girls do that are
simply not needed in this world, while there are many things that guys
just really want them to do.

For starters, in a recent Maxim Magazine there was a top 100 things
that are dumb. #25 on the list was Breast Reduction surgery. I Must say
that that is pretty stupid. I think Maxim stated it best, "Tell
you what ladies, if those beauties are hurting your backs, we'll gladly
help you carry them around."

Another thing that women do that is not needed is to not worry about
all of their friend's problems. Some of their problems are ok, but common
you can't heal the world on your own so there isn't any sense in
trying. A girlfriend that tries to solve all her friends problems is just
taking away from the time that the boyfriend can spend with her.

And another thing that girls shouldn't do is to get in a fight with
their boyfriend and then goto a party where they flirt with other guys and
make out with them. Then after the party get back together with their
boyfriend. That is just not cool to lead on people at the party like
that. Bad ladies! Bad!

Girls need to not talk to their girlfriends in code about a guy when he
is standing right there. That is just really annoying. You know they
are talking about you, but they wont tell you what they are talking
about. What was that? i know you're talking about me!

Well, what are some things that you think that girls should not do?
Add some examples that you know of or have experienced.

[viking]

Dude those last two are just way to true. Do you remember
those girls who had the realy realy stupid code involving govenment
jobs?

[Nachofunk]

Girls need to do more @#%$ sucking and less
talking.

[Nachofunk]

wow, I can't believe it edited that!

[pygmypiranha]

Yep this thing says anything goes. That's why I like it.

Actually something that I think chicks shouldn't do is expect guys to
understand the language that they have between themselves and their
friends. Codebreakers can not break this code of glances and simple
phrases. Even chicks can't understand it sometimes. Hopefully one day it
will be understandable.

[Kijilinn]

Quoting: "Girls need to not talk to their girlfriends
in code about a guy when he is standing right there. That is just
really annoying. You know they are talking about you, but they wont tell you
what they are talking about. What was that? i know you're talking about
me!"


Interestingly enough, I hate it when girls do that, too. Of course, it
doesn't happen as often as one would think (at least, not with me or
around me). The only time I do anything like that is when I'm trying to
tease someone. It usually falls flat with me, sadly, which is never
fun. :}

On another note: something I really wish guys wouldn't do.

I hate it when guys try to sensor girls. I have a terrible sense of
humor and I know it offends some people, but what drives me crazy is when
a guy will get offended when I say something jokingly sexual, but will
turn around all of five minutes later and tell raunchy jokes in front
of me. Why is it okay for him to do it and not me?? *mutter*

~Linn

[Katt]

I have to agree with Linn. I don't think that girls talk
"in code" as much as most guys think they do. Although, I have
to admit, I have one code word with a friend...."Pinapple" It
means "@#%$" in our one worded language. One thing that
drives me up a wall with guys is when they will just sit there, and not say
a word when I am on a date with them. I don't bite...hard anyway
;)

[Katt]

OH MY GOD!! THEY CENSORED ME!! GAAAAAAH! anyway, yeah the
censored word is as shole. Damn pinapple censors :::Muttles more obscene
things under breath:::

[pygmypiranha]

Yea the censor sucks @#%$ ass and should be put to death.
@#%$ them @#%$ them up their stupid asses.

[Nachofunk]

yes, asses isn't censored!!! asses, asses, asses, asses,
asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses,
asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses, asses,
asses, asses, asses, asses, and asses. Sweet!

[viking]

You do so bite!

[pygmypiranha]

But its true asses isn't censored. Hey there is a
topic!

[viking]

its your forum can't you uncensor everything?

[viking]

Fuck yeah mutherfucker good job!

[Nachofunk]

I am so offended.

[viking]

im sure you are, lol.

[viking]

perhaps you should tell us again about what you think of
the housing director!

[Kijilinn]

*laughing helplessly* FUCK YEAH! *dances* censor me and
die, bitch. ;)

[pygmypiranha]

Yes Phil tell us again. What was he? I need a full
description. Hmmmmmm????

[Nachofunk]

You know that firery orange ring of poo that sticks to your
asshole sometimes. He is something like that. Oh yeah, and he is a
stupid motherfucking ball licking monkey fucking child raping homosexual
super molester fuckheaded spineless peice of goddamn smelly fucking shit
that I scrap of my shoe. I fucking hate him and want to pull his
testicles out his nose and stuff his fucking penis in his ear. That sick
bastard will scream my name before I mercifully kill him by disembowelment.
I'm not bitter, though.

[Katt]

And Jason, tell me again, how could I bite you? there's
really nothing there to bite... hehehehe

[pygmypiranha]

that guy actually has a penis... I heard that people that
low have to scrape together some sort of clay dildo in the art labs to
have any form of sexual fun.

[Kijilinn]

*laughing* damn, that was beautiful. I wish I could cuss
like that. I can only dream and spit obscenities as a hobby.

[gazuga69]

Geez, Phil. Into the kinky stuff, huh?

Actually, I just saw something on tv last night about how a guy got his
penis amputated and used his middle finger to replace it.

[Nachofunk]

I didn't even know I had it in me!

[viking]

You for got about defenstration phil! Remember thats the
offical way to kill gay people according to braveheart anyway!

[Katt]

And tell me, Jason, how could I bite you? There's really
nothing there to bite...

[pygmypiranha]

His finger for his dick? Dang I hope he clips his nail
there. That can hurt the girl if ya don't do that. FYI

[viking]

Still bitter aren't we kathy?

[gazuga69]

Hey! How come I'm an unregistered user?! Damn you
ezboard!!!

[viking]

I will kill you personaly Alex!

[Katt]

I'm not bitter. I'm just messin' around. :D

[pygmypiranha]

What did I do now Jason? Mwhahaha I doubt that I did
anything so bad. Besides in the words of me, "Its all
good."

[viking]

I don't remember what you did but I think it had something
to do with the chatroom or another post. But since i can't remember
I'll go with your "Its all good"!

[Nachofunk]

A finger for a penis!!! He could never get past 3rd base.
Technically anyway. Sucks to be that guy.

[gazuga69]

Is that what third base is? I swear it keeps changing on
me.

Actually, a finger for a penis would be pretty cool since there is
actually a bone in it. Peeing from your finger would be a little odd,
though...

[Nachofunk]

A little?

[pygmypiranha]

I'm sorry, but I do not want to pee through my finger...
What the heck does that have to deal with THINGS CHICKS SHOULDN'T DO
ANYWAY???

[Nachofunk]

Chicks shouldn't piss through my finger damn it!! It sucks,
and I'm finally putting my foot down!

[pygmypiranha]

damn it they shouldn't. For one that would suck. I mean
ya gotta love being able to pee on your own without having to get a
chick to help you.

[Katt]

I think that pissing through your finger would suck, and
that having a girl help you pee would just be fuckin' weird. As for the
question of bases, to the best of my knowledge, 1st base is kissing, 2nd
is wandering hands, 3rd is removal of clothing, and 4th is
"aaaaall the way" as they say.

[road runner]

Girls should not wear low cut tops.

If a women wears a low cut top, She should except me to look down, It's low, its cut, revealing your damn breasts, what else you got it low for? some "air"?


Girls should not think they can do what men can.
List of what you can not do:

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Day. A Stuart Pearce tackleis the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling
the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the
door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but
someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE ... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub
doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your
dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then,
we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is
peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike girls, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.Seven. Seeya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the
worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"

24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t.

25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".

[steve]

Pretty funny. At least I think it is if I translated from Brit to Yank correctly. ;)

[Max Power]

That is pretty damned funny