|09-06-2007, 07:24 AM||#1|
Cream of the Crap
Join Date: May 2004
Down South, they always like to give a toast for the first beer or drink of the night, so here are a few ones (they are almost always dirty...)
Standard Toasts in Various Languages
English: Bottoms up!
German: "Hopfen und Malz, Gott erhaltz!" (Long live hops and malt!)
Italian: Cin Cin!
Maori: Kia Ora!
Hungarian: Egesegedre! (Egg-esh-sheg-edra)
"As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never face the wrong way."
"Champagne for real friends, and real pain for sham friends!" — DanFisher (my grandfather's favorite toast)
"Cheers to you and cheers to me, the best of friends we'll always be. But just in case we disagree, to Hell with you and cheers to me"
"Everybody should believe in something — I believe I'll have another drink."
"May the grass on your road to hell grow long for lack of use."
"Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." (Proverbs 31:6-7)
"Here's to the old lady up the hill. If she won't drink it, I will!" - Irish blessing
"Here's to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell."
"Here's to you as good as you are; And here's to me as bad as I am; But as good as you are; And as bad as I am; I'm as good as you are — as bad as I am." — ss's Poppa
"In heaven there is no beer that's why we drink ours here."
"May for better or worse be far better than worse."
"May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, but never catch up."
"May our house always be too small to hold all our friends."
"May the people who dance on your grave get cramps in their legs." —from the book, The Joys of Yiddish
"May we never have friends who, like shadows, follow us in sunshine only to desert us on a cloudy day."
"May you live all the days of your life." —Jonathan Swift
"To more friends and less need of them."
"To the head-brewer — may his wort never clear up!"
"We'll think of all the friends we know and drink to all worth drinking to."
Downright Nasty Ones in Any Language
"May you always come more than you go."
"May your love be a thousand miles long but come in six inch installments."
"Here's to birthdays... they come only once a year! Aren't you glad you're not a birthday??"
"Here's to the top, And here's to the middle. Let's hope tonight we all get a little."
"I want to thank you all for coming, especially my parents, (X) years ago."
"Here's to heat! Not the kind that ignites and burns down shanties, but the kind that excites and slides down panties!"
"Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be. And if we ever disagree, F—k you, here's to me."
"May your beer always be dry and your women always moist."
"Here's to honor (on her). To getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor."
"Here's to honor — cause if you can't come in her, come on her!" (maybe a little more vulgar, but flows much better.)
"Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting!"
Toasts for Guys or Girls
1. Here's to sleeping triple, seeing double, living single, and testing negative.
2. Here's to all you friends and lovers. May all of your ups and downs be under the covers!"
Toasts for Guys
1. Here's to honor. To gettin' on her. To stayin' on her. And if I can't come in her, I'm comming on her.
2. He offered his honor. She honored his offer. And he was on her and off her all night long.
3. To the women we've met, to the women we've fucked, to those amongst us who have had no such luck.
4. Here's to women we love and here's to the women we fuck. Hope they never meet.
5. Here's to you, here's to me, together as friends we'll always be, and if we ever disagree, fuck you, here's to me.
6. Here's to panties, not the best thing in the world, but damn close to it.
7. Here's to heat, not the kind that brings down shacks and shanties, but the kind that brings down bras and panties.
8. Here's to the girls that say they will, here's to the girls that say they don't, here's to the girls that say they do and then say they won't, but here's to the girls best of all, and you'll know you think I'm right, here's to the girls that say they don't, but tonite they just might.
9. Sugar in the bowl. Coffee in the Cup. Poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up!
10. To virgins and lesbians...... Thanks for NOTHING!
Toasts for Girls
1. Here's to me. Here's to you. Here's to the guys we fuck and screw. Here's to them for fucking us over, and here's to us for never being sober!
|09-06-2007, 05:00 PM||#2|
Cream of the Crap
I'm slightly worried that you know nearly a dozen toasts for men and only one for women...
Gaius Baltar is so hot...
|09-06-2007, 05:25 PM||#3|
Cream of the Crap
Join Date: May 2004
This is true, but that only means that there are so much you can say about women and men are a whole different ball game..or something....that is true...
|03-17-2008, 11:35 PM||#4|
Toast for guys #2 fixed
2. "He offered his honor. She honored his offer. And he was on her and off her all night long."
You started on the right path but then crashed halfway through. It goes "I offered my honor. She honored my offer. And all night long it was honor (on her) and offer (off her).
just wanted to fix that one because its one of my favorites.
|05-16-2008, 11:04 AM||#5|
To the women who've scorned us....
Here's to (your choice)
That filthy bitch,
that sleazy slimy slut;
fungus lies between her thighs,
and rashes line her gut.
Before i'd hunt that rancid cunt
or touch her festered tits,
I'd drink a quart of dead mans' blood
and bathe in liquid shit
|05-16-2008, 11:02 PM||#6|
Walmart Shopper #1
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Mokeyland MI
|08-27-2009, 08:15 PM||#8|
Here's to u,
here's to me,
here's to fucking,
when it's free!
I also heard one of those as :
Here's to living single, seeing double, sleeping triple and having multiples!
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